Self Reflection

I was just giving one of my relatives a hard time about now having a blog. After all, doesn't everyone? Her reply was that without a husband, kids, or exciting job, she would have nothing to write about. "How often do write about just yourself, not your kids?" Well, I would like to say all the time but that would be a lie. In fact, I guess almost none of the time, esp if you count the yet-to-be-born as a kid. So here is my response- a whole post just about me! Don't worry, I won't be offended if you stop reading now!

Lets see- I have gotten a little more free time lately for some projects. I have crocheted some very cute baby booties and a little pink hat. I also made a little cat that my kids have already started throwing around. I also knocked out a few file folder games for my classroom (remember those? Really big in the 90's, kind of died out with the wide use of color printers and copiers), completed lots of projects for work, and have started the Christmas pjs. Where are the pictures, you ask? Very happy sitting in my camera, whose batteries died this afternoon. It won't even turn on to download. I hope no one does anything cute the next few days before I get some more.



Another big project has been making a website for the preschool I work. I have never done anything like that before and am kind of making it up as I go but I think it is turning out ok. I just have to set a timer for myself so I don't get carried away and do more than they are willing to pay me for. I know that sounds kind of greedy but when I look at it as time I spend away from my family, that price is high enough I ought to be getting a little something in return! Here is what I have so far: http://sites.google.com/site/gymnlearn/Home Tell me what you think, I need some feedback!

I fell back into books this month. I have been really too tired to do anything else at night but lie around with my face in a book. It helped that I got sucked into a really good, and long, series of books that were very hard to put down. It made for some late nights, and strange dreams.



You see, what ever I am reading/doing/watching/thinking about the last hour or so before I go to bed, I keep on thinking about after I fall asleep. For instance, tonight I will be typing in my sleep, rearranging page elements and pasting pictures all night long since I am going to bed as soon as I am done here. So on the nights that I was up late reading I dreamt about vampires and werewolves and unrequited young love. Not too terrible, except I was too afraid to get up in the night to get a drink or go to the bathroom without waking Mike up to go with me. I couldn't help it, I jumped at my own reflection in the kitchen windows several times. So I am recommending this book series, but with the caution to only read in daylight hours! I read the first one while on a plane from one side of the country to the other. I read the second in two days a few days after our return. I had to wait to read the third until I could get it from the library through the reserve system, since it hasn't came out in paperback yet and I am cheap. I am afraid I will have to wait forever for the last one, as it hasn't even been released yet and will probably be months until it finds its way to the library. But I am still cheap, so will wait.


I also read this book, which I probably would never have picked up on my own but enjoyed anyway. It made me very grateful for my own life situation and especially my husband, who does such a great job of taking care of his family. I tried to picture my mother as a child then, growing up in the 60's in a whole different world than mine. It was an interesting look into not-so-distant history. I tried making up a few jingles myself, but am lousy at it. I will spare you you the examples.

I need to knock out one more for out RS summer book club, something that falls in the British Lit category. I am leaning toward Jane Eyre but haven't decided.

The other big change around here- I got a new church calling. I have been released from primary! I think for the three years we have lived here I have been in primary the whole time. Or as Lenna reported tearfully after church Sunday, I have "been kicked out of primary!" Usually, I wouldn't mind that terminology, in fact I think I have used it myself. It really upset her to hear someone say that in passing. I guess a child had heard the other ladies in Primary talking about it and when Lenna's teacher asked why her mom was in RS now and not in primary, the child laughed and said I had been kicked out. Lenna's head was filled with images of someone kicking her mother and hauling me out the door of the primary room against my will. I have tried to undo some damage by reassuring her I am just fine and wasn't kicked anywhere, but I am not sure she is buying it. A lesson to all of us to be careful what we say in front of little ears who repeat it! Now, was that too much about my kids? It was about me, I think.

Anyway, my new calling is on the enrichment board. Technically the enrichment activity leader and RSU secretary/publicist. A mouthful, and probably an armful as soon as I figure what all of that entails. Right now all I know is that I will be in charge of making and distributing all of the enrichment activity fliers, schedules, posters, sign-ups and such. I do believe I am actually in charge of coming up with such activities and schedules, but am not completely sure. If so, HELP!! I feel like I have been away from RS so long I don't really know how things are supposed to go and am terribly afraid of doing it wrong. It was both comforting and scary when the Bishop blessed me to be able to find the time for my calling and my mothering responsibilities when I was set apart. I think that that kind of means it will be a challenge- one I will have the ability to handle but a time challenge none-the-less.

I was talking with a friend's husband the first week after I was released. He saw me sitting all forlorn-looking in Sunday School and stopped to chat. He was commenting that it must be hard, after having my whole life revolve around kids, to switch to adults. He was so very right! For about two ears I have been doing cub scouts, primary, joy school, teaching preschool, and raising kids. All with very limited adult interaction, except of course the weekly primary meetings and brief visits with my visiting teachers (they have no idea that I don't care if they bring a lesson, it is just nice to talk to someone over 4 feet tall!). And so I am going through meeting withdrawal (I miss you guys!) and feeling lost on Sundays, and way out of place at RS activities. I went to one last week and none of my primary buddies showed up and I was so alone! I looked around at all the "other older" ladies and realized that they were all the women I would be serving with now, and wasn't sure if it would be ok to cry. I instead dragged myself up from the lounge chair and into the pool to so some socializing and tried to make the best of it. New friends? I hope so! And I can always put myself on the sub list for primary on Sundays, I am sure they could keep me busy and in my comfort zone!

I keep reminding myself that Heavenly Father knows what he is doing- that I am headed in the right direction. Perhaps he saw me sinking off into the land of sleepless nights and diaper changes, without the distraction of work to lift my spirits and knew I would need a boost to get out and go to RS, where I would get the outside support I would so desperately need after I have the baby. After all, if you are in charge you have to go, even if you don't feel like it or have to drag the kids along. And If I am forced to widen my social circle, it can only be good for me.

Or maybe, it is just time to focus a little more on my own spiritual health. I am quite confident I know enough about the workings of primary that I can keep my kids on track. However, I have yet to even open my RS manual for the year. I can sing all the primary songs, but few of the hymns. I have scripture and prayer charts for my kids, but none for myself. I work to schedule play dates for my kids every week for their social health, but often write my own activities or nights out with my friends at the bottom of the list, to be scratched out first when time or money gets tight. So I guess that is how I am going to look at the next six months- transition time to take the focus off my kids' well-being and look inward at myself for a while. Not that I particularly like what I see, but at least now I have the time and inclination to look and do better.

Someone came and mowed the front lawn last week. We have neglected it all summer. I am not sure if it was our home teachers who came Sunday and saw the overgrown jungle or maybe the neighbor who was tired of looking at the wild lawn next to his perfectly trimmed yard and just kept on going with his riding mower. Either way, we are very grateful. Neither one of us is physically able to do so right now- my doctor would kill me if the allergic reaction to the grass didn't, and Micheal would probably wish someone would kill him just to stop the pain that would result after pushing the mower around for an hour. That and our mower started billowing big black clouds of smoke last time we turned it on. So until we have the money to pay a landscaper, we are at the mercy of the drought (could it please stop raining so things stop growing?) and the mystery mowers. Hopefully it won't get to out of control until then!

And finally, some pictures of me. I do exist!

I have parents.

I have a great little family.

I eat Chinese food, with my very large extended family.

I have a goofy younger brother (well 5 of them, but only one made the photo)

I have a great husband, who loves me even in the middle of the night when I look exhausted and act grumpy and makes me smile for the picture anyway.

So that is all. A whole post about me!

Male Bonding

One of the things that Mike and Andrew did on our vacation was go fishing.

They went with two of my brothers, Ben and Q, and Q's wife and daughter. They both had a great time. Mike called on the way home and I asked "Are you dirty, tired, and hungry? Then you must have done it right!" Andrew arrived home and the first thing he did was sit down to count and show me his "12 owies!" After that he gave me a report, including shoving a bag of stinky dead fish in my face, proud as can be, and exclaiming "I caught a fish! It was wiggling, but it is dead now."

I was not there, but from what I gathered I think this is what they did:

Drove to Crater Lake towing a boat.

Had a picnic lunch of Sub sandwiches.

Got licked by a big stinky dog (belongs to my brother, not a stray).

Sat in a boat (not sure if it went anywhere or if he just got in for a picture).

Learned to pee in the trees (a highlight for him, actually). No picture, thank goodness.

Walked around in the mud.

Climbed around exploring the rocky shore line, resulting in the 12 scrapes and bumps.

Went fishing and caught something!

Learned that fish flop around a bit then die if you pull them out of the water.

Took lots of pictures with a special fishing camera (a disposable I sent him with, I didn't' want my digital camera at the bottom of the lake, but wanted pictures), some of which actually turned out! Here are a few of his favorite subject- His Dad. He had a thing for putting his fingers in front of the lens, as you can see from the above photos.

All in all, a full day of male-oriented adventuring. I think it was a success. Andrew is already asking for his own Lightening McQueen fishing pole to take with him to Alaska to fish for giant halibut with his grandpa. I think he might need to borrow a bigger pole, but it is a nice thought. .

Here is how Andrew describes the fishing process:

"First you put bait on the hook and throw it into the water. Wait and hold the pole for a while. Wait for the pole to wiggle then turn and turn and turn and turn until the fish comes flopping out of the water! Sometimes you put it back in, and other times you have to touch it and put in the ice chest then take it home after it stops wiggling and have someone cook it. Before you cook it you have to clean it- it smells bad and blood and guts come out, and the eyes are squishy!"

My grandpa got the honor of cleaning the fish, much to the delight of all Andy's cousins who watched with fascination at the dissection.

Andy was the only one interested in eating his catch. He was really excited, but not that impressed in the end product. I believe his exact words were "Blech!" Mike was a good sport and finished it off. I guess mountain lake trout are not going to make it to the family favorite menu any time soon.

A busy day

So nothing new or exciting to share today. No profound thoughts or amusing anecdotes. Just some updates for the concerned family out there. I do have some great pics of Andy that he took on his fishing trip that I will upload later today and share with you, so there is something to look forward to! Until then here is the news from my weekend.

Mostly, my car is dying. I am so sad. I have some sort of coolant leak- I have to refill every week instead of every six months like when it was new. Hopefully it is something easy and cheap to fix.
Thursday I woke up to a flat tire. I got a ride to work, then Mike came home and put on the spare and we took it to walmart. They took out the offending screw, patched the tire and sent us home.
I woke up Friday and it was flat again. The very intelligent workers there fixed only one hole, but left two others. I guess you get what your $10 buys you, when everyone else charges $25. Mike was gone and I had two important appts to go to so I drove to the gas station on the flat (shh! Don't tell the car nuts, I know it was bad) and Andrew noted that the thump-thump of the flat sounded a lot like the thump-thump of the baby's heartbeat. I put some air in the tire and drove back to Walmart to make them fix it again, and ended up needing a new tire after all. The month that I really don't have $70 to spare is the time when everything falls apart! I keep waiting for another thing to break on it. I guess it is time to upgrade to a bigger car anyway!

I went to the doc yesterday and have gained five pounds! Probably closer to three, but I was wearing jeans and sneakers instead of shorts and flip flops so that helped. Other than that, everything is fine and normal. In fact the doctor told me I was medically boring. I guess that is a good thing. The fibroid tumor the tech saw was really nothing, and the pain I have been having in my stomach is the stretching of my ligaments as my tummy grows. He recommended a support belt and ice packs and some toning exercises to do before I have the next one. Since my stomach muscles were pretty much gone, I am popping out more and putting more strain on the connectors trying hard to hold things together. I suppose that is better than a tumor.
I had to take the kids with me because in all the tire excitement I forgot to find a sitter. Since I am medically boring I go to the family practice clinic where kids aren't viewed as walking pathogens as in the OB clinic, so it wasn't a big deal. Andrew was able to climb onto the table and measure my belly (right on time, 25cm) and Lenna got to use the Doppler to find the heartbeat. They were both very proud and it was so nice to not have to keep shh-ing them and pleading with them to get back in their chairs. I am going to request appts with that doctor every time.
I do have one assigned to me, but we have never met. You have to just see whoever is available and then the on-call doc delivers the baby anyway, so it really doesn't matter who you see in the end. The joys of military health care, but it is free. And in a year we will be worrying about co-pays and deductibles, so I should enjoy it while it lasts I guess.

I should get back into a routine and be able to catch up on our trip posts this week. I am finally starting to feel a little more in control of things, it only took about two weeks!

three and a half foot logic

How Andrew thinks always amazes me- sometimes silly, others profound.

How to make banana bread: take some bananas and squish them up, take a loaf of bread and squish it up with the bananas. Roll it out flat into a piece of bread shape and poke in some raisins. Bananas + Bread = banana bread. Obviously we haven't done much baking around here lately....

How tall will you be?
Andy: "When I am 100 I will not be able to have a house."
Me:"why not?"
Andy: "Because I would smash it!"
Me: "huh?"
Andy: "Now I am 3 and this big, and Lenna is six and this big (reaches just above his head) and you are 28 and this big (points to the ceiling) and grandpa is 50 and even bigger than you. I keep getting bigger when I get older, so When I am 100 I will be really, really big and smash the roof of the house! I will have to live in the forest"
Me: "OH. Well, maybe you could build a castle or something." It is not worth the effort to explain why people stop growing by about 20. We will just let him figure it out on his own.

Me, after a particularly rough day at school with Andrew, who had a very hard time following directions, "Andrew, why weren't you listening to me today?"
Andy: "I left my listening ears off today. I will turn them on again tomorrow, maybe."
Me: "I would appreciate that."
Where is the on/off switch, anyway?

Andy: "I can't eat any more dinner today."
Me:"Why?"
Andy: "There is no space left in my tummy, it is full (lifts his shirts and pokes out his stomach, just to make sure I see how full it is)"
Me: "Ok. No room for ice cream either, go get some jammies on."
Andy: "Maybe I could vacuum some room in there, but not enough room for carrots, just enough room for ice cream. (makes a sucking sound and runs his hand around his stomach) Now there is room for ice cream in there!"
I want one of those vacuums!

Traditions

One of the things that I love about going "home" to family gatherings is all of the traditions. One of the traditions that we almost always honor is that of "Going to the lake." You can say that to anyone of the 50 people who were there and they all know what you mean- which lake (there are four nearby I can think of), which beach, which tables, etc. We always go to Eagle Lake.

The water is freezing, mostly fed by streams of melting snow from the nearby mountains. The drive up makes me throw up. The beach is muddy, littered with tiny shells and seagulls. The water is murky and the bottom alternates between slimy and rocky. The tables seem like a forever walk up a pine-needle covered beach. The beautiful mountain views are hidden this year by clouds of smoke from the numerous California wildfires. The wildflowers make me sneeze. The chipmunks steal your chips, and the bathrooms are dark and dirty.

So why do we come back, year after year after year? Because its a tradition! And everyone manages to have fun anyway!

Mike and I, with camera in hand.

Andy and Mike rinsing off after the sandcastle building.

A work in progress- adding the moat.

Pretty flowers, but they make me sneeze. Nothing worse than a runny nose on the beach....

What is a trip to the lake without a trunk load of junk food?

Lenna, smiling into the sun, with purple lips from the cold water.

Reinforcing the wall.

I believe I am related to all of these people in some way.

Andy and I calling it a day.

Andrew adding water to the castle moat.

The finished product- Ta-da!

Tips on Flying With Children

We have just returned from a trip to visit our relatives in California. Of course this involved a cross-country flight from Atlanta, GA to Reno, NV. I think we are getting pretty good with the flying thing, especially with the things I have learned from this trip. We will definitely be ready for anything next time. I thought I would share my new found knowledge with all of you. So here it goes:

Tips for Flying with Children:

Before you go:

1. think about what kind of flight you want: Non-stop or connecting.

Non stop is great for a shorter overall trip, especially if you have lots of baggage or baby equipment to haul around the airport from plane to plane. It also cuts down on the nauseating take off and landing times which is great for those with motion sickness. It also allows for nice long naps and for settling in. However, if you don't like the people sitting around you or feel a little claustrophobic in a small space, five hours with no break is a long time.

You may want to look for a flight with an hour or so layover if you don't mind a slightly longer traveling day. This cuts the time you have to keep your wiggly child in one place in half, since he will be distracted by the more frequent landing and taking off, the change in planes, seats, and airports. He will get to experience running through the terminal and most likely an escalator ride or two. If the person sharing your row isn't as thrilled about having young children as traveling companions, or there is a grouchy old man in front of you who winces, then turns and glares every time your child moves his feet, the endurance time for everyone is much shorter. However, this increases the chance of losing a suitcase, leaving Barbie behind, and having no time to eat anything but airplane snacks for about 8 hours, which isn't so good for digestion, calorie counters, or cranky kids who hate peanuts and soda.

2. After you have chosen your flight, it is time to do some research. Head to your local library to find the answers to the following questions. Remember, no detail is to small to be left out or repeated at least five times.

Why do we have to stand in line?

Where is that man taking my suitcase?

What can't I follow it down the conveyor belt?

Why can't I take my juice bottle with me?

Why do I have to take off my shoes?

Why does that man have funny socks on?

Why can't I carry my doll/car/blanket/backpack with me through the metal detector?

Why can't I hold your hand as I go through?

Why can't I stop in the middle?

What is that funny beeping sound? Why do I have to go through again?

Why is that man holding a gun?

Why can't I have one?

Why can't I stop in the middle of the aisle and sit down to put on my shoes?

Why can't I run around and get lost or play hide and seek to make things more fun?

How much longer?

What does that sign say?

Can I have a t-shirt/mug/toy/(insert anything overpriced in a shop window here)?

Which plane is ours?

Why can't we get on that one?

What is that man/ woman's job? (this question will be repeated for all employees, from gate agents to flight attendants, to truck drivers, maintenance crew, etc, so be ready with answer for every kind of uniform you see)

Where are we going?

Where is the potty?

What is that part of the plane?

Where are the suitcases going?

Where is mine?

Why are we in line again? Where does this tunnel lead?

Are we on the plane now?

Which seat is mine?

Why can't I sit over there?

How does the seat belt work?

What is an emergency landing?

Are we going to have one?

Will you save me if the plane lands in the water and I am not wearing my floaties?

What is this little white bag for?

Are you going to throw up this time?

Can I put the window shade up/down?

Are we going yet?

Where is my TV?

Can I turn on the light?

What happens when I push the orange button with the lady?

Can I turn off the air? Can I turn it back on?

What is that noise?

Where is the engine?

Does this plane have a propeller?

Do I get to wear a parachute if we run out of gas?

Why are we driving instead of flying?

What are the wing flaps doing?

When is it our turn to go?

Why can't I put my hands up and yell "wheee!" as the plane goes up?

Why can't I kick the seat in front of me?

Why can't I put the tray table up and down a thousand times?

When are we going to get drinks?

Can I get in my suitcase now?

Can I take off my seat belt?

Can you trade me seats?

Does that lady have candy bars or chocolate milk?

Can I go to the bathroom now?

Why is it so small?

What happens when you flush the toilet?

Where does everything go?

Why is the water blue?

How much longer?

Can you sing me to sleep?

Does it count as a nap if I just close my eyes for a minute?

Why are we flying under the clouds?

Why are we flying above the clouds?

Why are we flying through the clouds?

Where are the care bears?

What are clouds made of?

Can I open the window and stick my hand out?

What is that down there?

Why is the plane bumping?

Is the plane bumping up and down because we are flying over the mountains?

Why do I have to wear my seat belt?

Why is the wing moving?

Why do the cars look like ants?

Where is grandma's house?

Are the wheels going to come down in time?

What if they don't?

When are we going to stop?

Why can't I get off yet?

Can I go see the pilot?

Where are we going?

Where are my suitcases?

Can I push the cart?

Can I ride with grandma all the way home? (Answer yes to this one and enjoy the few minutes of quiet!)

Be prepared with satisfactory answers to all of the above questions. You may want to consult a pilot or engineer or good book on the dynamics of airports.

Now you are ready to go! Pack lightly, but be prepared for anything and everything (is this possible?)

On the plane:

Get on early. You are less likely to have to climb over people to get to your seat, will have first access to the blankets (only use the shrink wrapped ones, you never know what the guy before you was breathing on them) and plenty of time to start answering all those questions.

Consider carefully the seating. If you are upset with your husband, make him sit with the youngest. If you aren't yet, make him sit across the aisle alone and you will be resentful enough to be upset with him later. Or just draw straws and hope for the best. Resist the urge to sit with your husband and let your kids fend for themselves on the next row, you will probably regret it later.

Bring out all the toys, especially little ones that drop. This way you will easily get to know all of the people around you right away, since you will have to ask them to retrieve things for you throughout the flight.

Don't forget to charge the batteries for the portable DVD player, along with headphones and a few favorite movies.

Bring a book for yourself. You probably won't get to read it, but it might make a good prop for car ramps or Barbie furniture or something, or maybe a fan when the air is out.

Finally, sit back and enjoy the ride. And pray for that nap!

Jet Lag

I am Sooo tired!

It is much easier to stay up and sleep in later than to force yourself to wake up and go to bed earlier. I have fallen asleep sitting up three different times today. Only one was in a public place, sitting in line for the drive-thru teller, good thing my kids are horrible in the backseat and were able to wake me with their squabbling before any damage was done!

Andrew spent most of the preschool morning curled up in a ball on the mat and Lenna sat out the entire day camp with her head down. I hope I wasn't to horrible of a teacher to the three and four year olds that came to school today.

I think we all would have been fine except for our very early morning yesterday, when we had to wake at 4AM to catch a 630AM flight, that sadly turned out to be delayed by three hours which we spent bleary-eyed in the airport, followed by a five hour flight and a three hour drive home. And of course we arrived to a hungry cat, a stack of mail to sort, messages to return, meetings to attend, bills to pay, etc. It is so much easier leaving for a vacation than returning from one!

I have made it a goal to be caught up and returned to normal by the end of the week. Here is my to do for this page, as a sneak peek for you and a reminder for me:

upload photos form digital camera and Andy's fishing camera

write about plane flight,lots of relatives, 4th, lake trip, family photos, grandma's move, cousins, new book series, mike's med board, and our remaining summer plans.

Until then, enjoy this photo, which was taken by my sister Shannon :