Happy Birthday!

It is birthday week at our house, the official start of our fall celebration marathon!

I changed the background in honor of my little guy's big day, and I guess mine is in there, too.

Why birthday week? Well, because when you are small you get to celebrate many times- once at school, once at church, once with your friends, and again with your family. Add in packages arriving from far away relatives at various times all week, and it really is a celebration all week long!

Happy birthday week to you Andrew!

Deflated Balloon or Wipe Out?

I have been trying to think of a good analogy to describe the way I have been feeling the past few days.

I am bouncing between a deflated balloon-

no energy, no motivation, moving in slow motion, I just feel kind of empty and flat-

and total wipe out-

I feel like someone just knocked me over, or like I crashed from a high-energy enthusiastic phase into a "I just want to go to bed and sleep for the next six weeks" phase.

Ugh. I guess this is one of those down sections of the roller coaster ride?

It is hard to be positive- I can't breathe with little feet in my lungs, I can't lie down without my stomach turning into a jungle gym with constant battering and rolling and even some bruises, my feet are swollen, my legs ache, my back hurts, I can't tie my own shoes, I am annoyed by everything, and I can't sleep (nothing worse than lying awake at 3 AM knowing you have to get up in three hours and not being able to sleep).

Let's hope for a quick upswing so I can get back to normal!

Can I be treated for a prenatal bi-polar disorder of some sort? There has got to be a pill for this....

Aaahhhhhh!

Today I went outside to a wonderful morning!

It was almost even cool enough to think about putting on a jacket. My kids were wearing sweaters (a size too small because we still haven't taken out the warm clothes for this year) and socks at breakfast!

I am trying not to get too excited, but I think that summer might actually be ending!

It was so nice to go outside and not feel suffocated by the heat and humidity.

I love fall!

Here's why:

1. Its like a breath of fresh air, such a nice change to the summer heat that seems to last forever here.

2. It is celebration time- Andy's birthday, my birthday, Lenna's birthday, new baby's birthday, our wedding anniversary, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and the start of Christmas.

3. Beautiful colors. I do admire all of the different shades of green I can see out my front window during the summer months, but the other fall colors make it that much more beautiful.

4. Less bugs.

5. Sweater season.

6. A/C bill relief!

7. Less bugs (this one deserves to be mentioned twice)

8. We can play outside during the day again- park days, picnics, bike rides, afternoon walks, etc.

9. UV index falls and I don't have to be quite so vigilant with the sunscreen.

10. I can put blankets on the beds again.

11. Yummy fall food- pumpkin bread, pumpkin pie, pumpkim chocolate chip cookies (my favorite), apple cider, hot chocolate- makes me want to go on a hayride right now. Anyone know of a good pumpkin patch, corn maze, hayride kind of place around here?

Hooray for Fall!!

Finally, some one understands!

I found this online and instantly thought of my child, as well as past posts by some of you readers. Enjoy!

This link leads to a blog featuring just LDS cartoons, very funny, where I discovered this one.

I know I have been MIA- it has been busy over here. Will update eventually!

7 things

First of all, sorry for that last post. I was feeling a bit sorry for myself and hadn't slept well in about three days. I am better now. As my own mother reminded me, I knew what I was in for and did it on purpose, so shouldn't be complaining. Nothing a long nap can't fix I guess!

So on to what I was originally going to write.

Hooray for me!!

I have lived a whole week of "normal".

No crisis, illness, or broken car parts. I am so glad, I was about to go nuts! I finally feel like I have a little control back, and well, these days I am all about control in whatever bits I can get it.

The downside is that I have nothing to blog about. And have never been the type of person who can sit down in a reflective mood and produce pages of prose illustrating life's beauty and blessings and such. I tend to write as therapy when things are going wrong. My posterity will think my life was depressing I guess. I do have pics from our trip to Six Flags and Lenna's dental adventure to share, but not on this computer, so not today.

Anyhow, I was tagged a few weeks ago with one of those questionnaires and was ignoring it until I had more time. Well, since I have nothing else to write about, I guess now is the time.

Share 7 little-known things about yourself.

This is tricky because if I was just writing to my Georgia friends, I would have lots more options. But since this gets email-fed to my extended family on both sides, I will have to think harder. And of course since it is being read by my mom, my mother-in-law, and parents of my preschoolers, I will have to be even more careful in what I share!

1. I am terrified of mice. Petrified to the point of nightmares and screaming and standing on chairs kind of terrified. So much, I am not even going to google you a picture of one to make this post more interesting. Stems from a bad childhood experience (actually in high school) with a field mouse invasion from the flooded fields around our house one winter. The aversion is so intense, I lied to my BYU professor. I was taking a class called "Appreciation of Nature" (an actual required class for education majors) and we had to write down the name of the animal we feared most, then write a five page paper about something interesting and positive about that animal. I cheated and changed mine from mouse to spider. A side note, did you know there are spiders in South America who can use polarized light like a compass to find their way around the rain forest?

2. I am addicted to shoes. Started in high school the quest for the perfect athletic shoes for track and basketball. Has led to an obsession with shoes in general. I have more shoes than outfits to match with them. Oh, and I only bought my first pair of high heels two years ago. I was finally comfortable enough in my own skin to make myself even taller on purpose. I would rather go shoe shopping than for anything else. When shopping for a junior prom dress (fruitlessly for five hours- it is hard being 5'9" with no boobs and long legs and trying to look modest) I begged my mom to just bag the whole thing and buy me a new pair of running shoes instead. Did eventually find a dress. I was also a brand snob, only wore Nike for my high school years. Now my feet have changed and I can't wear them anymore. Oh well.

3. I have shaken hands with or served lunch to 7 of the 12 apostles of first presidency of the LDS church. Thanks to mormon college of course. While attending Ricks College I shook hands with President Hinkley (presidential inauguration), Elder Holland (devotional), and Elder Bednar (I first typed President Bednar, as he was president of Ricks College at the time) who I met while he was observing my chemistry class. While at BYU I worked as a caterer. Besides getting lots of good leftovers I got to serve lunch to Elder Eyring, Elder Perry, Elder Packer, and President Bateman and several members of the 70 whose names I don't remember. Also the Osmonds and Alabama at a Stadium of Fire event. While working in the Creamery I sold ice cream to John Bytheway, LaVell Edwards, Mary Ellen Smoot, and some guy from Fox News. I know, not that impressive outside of Utah, but hey, I will take famous people encounters however I can find them.

4. I got engaged to Mike two weeks after we met, married 4 months after that. Long short story, but lets just say it was meant to be. Nothing would have worked out had anything been different- if I had kept my original apartment, if I had came two weeks later like my parents wanted me to, if I had a different roommate who wasn't so outgoing, if I had a job a week sooner, if Mike had stayed in MD, if he had gotten his job two weeks sooner, etc. There was a tiny window left open by fate, and we both just managed to slip through. I will save the good parts for another post. We got married in the Provo Temple.


5. I originally wanted to be a chemistry major and me a lab tech nerd. I have no idea what made me register as an elem ed major my first semester in college, but I did and my life took a very different turn. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had been a chemistry major instead of an education major. Still wouldn't mind going back and starting again to get another degree in biology, chemistry, literature, or library science. I know weird combo. Maybe that's why I just picked education. Who knows! Mike teases me that I am a perpetual student. Most people can't wait to get out of college and start life, I keep looking for an excuse to start again.

6. My favorite place to read/study/nap at BYU was the lounge in the 4th floor ladies bathroom of the library. There was a 70s era couch in there that was super comfy. No one ever wandered up that far so I could sit for hours and be all alone or watch people out the window running around below. I did lots of pondering in that bathroom!

7. I had an eating disorder in high school and college. Thank goodness for free therapy and student health centers. Anyway, I still get nauseous whenever I am stressed, sad, or angry. If I didn't like chocolate and ice cream so much, I would be in much more danger of a relapse. Anyone who has seen my thighs in the past two years can rest assured I am out of the woods.

There. Lots of deep dark secrets! Had to resort to college days to get to something my family wouldn't know already. Sorry if it seemed like a college flashback! Now you all know more about me then you ever wanted to....

Huh? And other randomness

I found this growing in the back yard. No idea what it is, but it is about as large a dinner plate. Georgia grows weird stuff! I found Andrew squatting next to it with his nose wrinkled up. All he said was "huh?" and then moved on.

We had a Labor Day picnic last weekend. It was supposed to signal the end of summer. Someone forgot to tell the weather man, as we have had 90 degree weather all week since then.

We have stretched the summer fun out a bit- ice cream anyone?

I love this picture of Lenna and her friend. It looks like so much fun! I don't know what they were talking about because I was spying through the window, but it ended with giggles!

Now couch. Hooray for no more beige! Definitely need some more color in that room....

That's it for the randomness. Enjoy!

Hair-raising adventures

Lenna has been letting her hair grow. Last week she wanted me to put curlers in. Here is the result:

She loved it, but got in trouble at school for forgetting to listen or do anything but fluff her curls and flip her head around. We have decided to save the curls for special occasions, to space out the flippy days.

Andrew finally let Mike cut his hair. He (Mike) got a little carried away with the clippers. But it isn't too bad and Andy likes it. Fortunately he has many friends who also have clipper-wielding military dads with matching haircuts.

Now I just need to do something with myself before baby comes. I think I will take myself on a haircut date for my birthday. Anyone know of a good place? Anyone want to come along to help me be brave? I am open to suggestions...

Stop this ride- I want to get off!!

I know, it has been over a week since I last posted. Not to worry, though. I have only been procrastinating. You see, it was bill-paying time. And I told myself I was not allowed to post any more until I had paid all of the bills. I absolutely detest paying bills! It makes me depressed. So, I always put it off as long as I can. I know, silly. The whole thing maybe takes a half hour of clicking but I still hate it. Anyway, I finally made myself do it today, so I am now free to blog!

I remember a time when I was a teen-ager and I went to the county fair. I remember getting on a ride I wasn't too sure about- a typical carnival ride that spins you around until you are dizzy and nauseous. Well, I discovered that the older I got, the less fun those rides were! I got on the ride, buckled the sub-standard safety belt, and started spinning. It took about ten seconds for me to realize my mistake. I tried staring at my shoes, the lap bar, the ground, the people whizzing by- nothing helped. All I could do was grit my teeth and pray it would end soon before I lost it, all the while wishing someone would hit that emergency stop button and let me off! The ride screeched to a halt, I stumbled off, and proceeded to loose my lunch in the nearest trash can.

Here is a picture- downloaded, not of anyone I know.

Anyway, all I can remember is that out of control feeling, that I knew something bad was about to happen, that I could do nothing t0 stop it, and that I would give just about anything to get off and feel normal again!!

Why would I tell you this less-than amusing story? Because. Fast forward about ten years, and here I am now. On an endless roller coaster. With extreme highs and lows, even a few loop-de-loops, nauseating spins, and that same out-of-control feeling. Wishing I could just stop everything, get back on steady ground, and be in control of myself again. Sadly, there is no emergency stop, no safety bars, and no end in sight! What horrible ride is this you ask? A completely hormonal one. Based in genetics, fueled by stress and sleep-deprivation, and exacerbated by pregnancy.

Seriously- someone let me off!!

I have been going through crazy mood swings, with really good weeks, followed by some really bad weeks. I bet you could read through the archives and find the ups and downs.

On the good weeks I feel good, have energy, and am motivated to get things done. I can take the crazy adventures of life with two kids, a busy husband, and a job in stride. And of course, there is the little voice in the back of my mind telling me to hurry, push, and cram as much as possible into the next few days because one morning I will wake up and it will be free fall time! Those are the weeks I go on cleaning binges, take my kids to do everything, start crazy to-do lists, and actually get things done.

Then come the down times. I will wake up in the morning feeling like I haven't slept at all, have no energy and just "get through the day". I don't really care if I am late for work, or Lenna is late for school, or if the kids eat cold cereal for two out of three meals. The house falls apart, the lists go unchecked, and everything sort of closes in. Then I get overwhelmed with even the simplest things like finding out my daughter has imaginary friends, that my son has to spend half his day in time out, or when the car gets a flat tire. I cry about everything, and sometimes even nothing. Seriously, I cried for an hour about a relief society poster, that now resides in the trash can, it was so important!

Then come the dizzying spins- when things get so crazy I don't have time to pay attention to anything outside of my planner, just rushing from one thing to another. Like the day I realized that we had bought a new couch two days earlier and I hadn't even sat on it yet. Or we had a bag full of library books two days over due that no one had even read once. That I could count the number of waking hours I had spent at home on my fingers, and that was the tally for the whole week. Or sometimes I just make myself crazy with dizzying thought patterns- mostly worries about things I can't control like Mike's job and health, or money stuff, or of course, having a baby! I have nightmares about giving birth in the living room, the car, or even the church bathroom. That my kids will be left at school, that Mike won't make it in time, that no one will come to help me and I will be stuck on the couch for a week holding a screaming baby, with kids crying for dinner, the phone ringing, no clean clothes, and no end in sight!

The worst part is that I feel like I really have nothing to complain about, and that I know it is just hormones. Side note- never ever tell that to a pregnant lady while she is in the middle of an emotional freak-out, you will just get punched in the nose (ask my husband). People tell me I look good for being 8 months pregnant, and I can't complain about morning sickness, or health complications, or birth defects, or emergency surgery (ok, that one was last night's nightmare), or being a single mom or any of that. But it sure would be nice to be able to yell "Stop the ride! I want to get off!" and have everything return to normal again!

Here I am- bulging belly as of today: