Admitting you have a problem is the first step

We all have one. That closet addiction that we never actually admit exists. My sister hoards shoes. My husband and father-in-law collect computers and their various parts. My grandmother has a ball of yarn in any color you can imagine. I collect books.
We are approaching a move and I have a feeling I know just where the majority of our weight will come from- the piano, the entertainment center, the bunk beds, and my books. The shelves have become the focus of my de-cluttering effort. I filled three boxes with "grow into" books for the kids and stuck them in storage. Another full of Christmas books. Then four more boxes to sell to a used book store. I earned $60 in store credit, then spent it on more books. I know, I have a problem. Want to see?
Lenna's room:

 Andy's room:

 Kid books in the living room:

 Mom and Dad clutter in the living room (these are the ones I am supposed to get rid of before we try to sell the house):

I often blame it on my teacher training- never get rid of a good book! My daughter is a book collector as well. She wants to be a writer and drive a book mobile to towns where there isn't a library when she grows up. I think if I can bring myself to part with them, she can stock her book  mobile with just our books.

We are a book family. We are regulars at the library, and have to bring abut three totes to hold our selections. 

We start as early as possible exposing our kids to books and stories and reading aloud. My toddler even reads her board books to the cat. She was trying to get him to pat the soft bunny, but he wasn't interested.

We give books as presents. Santa, the Easter bunny, Grandma, and school book orders all contribute to our stash.

My parents recently moved and had to down-size and had a huge yard sale. My entire childhood was spread out on the lawn for strangers to pick through. I didn't care about the totes of barbie dolls or stuffed toys, the baby blankets, or tables covered in knick knacks and old dishes. I was having nightmares about her emptying the bookshelves full of children's books before I could get on a plane and go through them myself. I had to ship myself a few boxes because I couldn't fit them in my luggage.

So I admit I have a thing for books. I really don't discriminate between books. Besides tons of children's lit, we have craft books, garden books, parenting books, church books, poetry books, travel books, college text books, books in Russian and Arabic, art books. Fiction that stretches from Anne and Gilbert to wizards and vampires and hobbits to pioneers and secret gardens. Since I got a nook for my birthday a few months ago, I have added another few hundred e-books to the collection as well, though those are easier to store.

Why is it then, that at a Relief Society mixer a month ago, I had the luck of drawing the "get-to-know-you" question of "What is your favorite book?" and had absolutely nothing to say? Nothing. I think I gave the title of the last book I had read- something from the diaper bag that rhymed and featured cartoon characters. I think I love too many to pick. 

So when I was asked to write today about my favorite book from my childhood, I laughed. How about a list?
I don't remember that one special book from my childhood that I had to read every night or anything. The earliest book I can remember is this one- the one I couldn't find when culling through my parent's book shelves a few summers ago. And it's out of print. Maybe that's why I want it? Mom, if you come across this one some place, I want it! And if my sisters are reading and managed to snag this one first, I still want it. I'll trade you the Poky Little Puppy for it.

I do remember loving books and resenting being restricted to choosing only 3 items from each book order form I brought home from school. I remember lots of Little Golden Books, The Bearenstien Bears, the Serendipity books, the Mr . Men books and many others. I still have copies of "The Secret Garden" and "Five Children and It" that were given to me by my fourth grade teacher.
As I got older and moved on to chapter books, I gravitated toward series. Easier to chose that way- just find one you like and read the ones that follow! I plowed through Super Fudge, Ramona, Encyclopedia Brown, American Girls, and the Moffats before moving on to The Babysitter's Club, Nancy Drew, Little House on the Prairie, and Anne of Green Gables.
I think that the Secret Garden and the Ramona books are my favorites. I loved the idea of having a place to call my own or wandering down the dark halls of a giant mansion! And I easily related to Ramona as the frustrated little sister with a tendency to get into trouble.

I have really enjoyed sharing some of my favorites with my kids as they get older, especially from the very same books I scrawled my name into the front cover of as a kid.

And now after all that, I feel completely justified in my book collections. Maybe I can store the books and get rid of the entertainment center and the bunk beds instead?

Thanks for my southern family

I am sick today. Not really blog-worthy in and of itself, right?
This morning has shown me how much I have to be grateful for in my wonderful network of friends here, illustrates why I didn't want to move before the arrival of baby, and has helped me turn my "I feel like I want to die" into an "I am grateful for this opportunity" moment.
My dear visiting teacher called me earlier in the week and ask if she could drive me to the temple to help me get one more thing checked off my list (which, by the way, I am doing very well at accomplishing). After a crazy morning of running around, including a few frantic phone calls to find a temple dress to borrow that would fit around my expanding belly, it was a great way to spend the afternoon and evening. Unfortunately, even with my front seat privileges I started feeling quite ill on the way home. I figured it was a weird combo of morning sickness or car sickness. And thus started a night and day of the above mentioned "I feel like I want to die" illness.
I woke up, somehow managed to get the big kids dressed and to school on time, and came home and started whining about how cruddy I felt on facebook.
Within minutes I had friends practically tripping over each other to help me. Rebecca has been whisked away to play and nap with a friend, there is dinner waiting in the fridge, and all the baby laundry in storage I needed to get done has been taken away, washed, and returned smelling fresh and clean to the nursery (another project tackled by a friend that would otherwise not exist!).
The kids are looking forward to a sleepover this weekend aranged to give Mike and I a chance to get away one more time before baby comes. Two amazing ladies are throwing a baby shower next week aimed to fill my freezer with food and calendar with helpers instead of the dresser with baby clothes. The woman I called to borrow a dress from yesterday didn't even blink before agreeing to lend me her temple dress and asking to keep Rebecca while I went. Even Lenna's dance teacher called to make sure I had things covered and offered to drive her to classes for a few weeks so I wouldn't have to venture out with baby.
I am so very grateful. And super-scared to move away from my support network into the unknown.
So, to my southern family of friends and sisters, thank you for taking care of me!

Beach Getaway

Just before Elizabeth was born, Mike and I were able to run away for the weekend, just us, no kids. We left Lenna, Andrew, and Rebecca with a good friend, Rosetta, and headed out!
We drive a few hours to Hilton Head Island- a beach town in South Carolina that I had been wanting to visit before we left Georgia. You see, I needed a Salty Dog Cafe t-shirt. Everyone I knew had one, and I felt like I couldn't really be a cool Georgia person without one of my own shirts featuring the wet dog in a yellow rain hat. So Hilton Head it was!
We stayed in a pretty little hotel called The Main Street Inn. Definitely a place I would love to stay in again, but not a place I would bring my kids.
After we got settled in we made a quick trip to the beach then had dinner in a grown up restaurant after our kids were supposed to be in bed. We spent the next day exploring the town and the beach. Sadly, it was January and the weather wanted to remind us, so our day on the beach was accentuated with snow flurries and icy wind! But it was nothing a few hours of window shopping and several cups of hot chocolate couldn't fix. Funny, one of the best parts was the driving there and back, the chance to just be together and talk in complete sentences without being interrupted.

It was so nice to get away and spend some time together before our lives were turned upside down with a new baby, new job, and a big move! I will forever be grateful for good friends who make things like this possible for us. Thanks Dobbins family!

Joyful

I am happy to report that I have been anti-depressant free for over a month now.
The first week or two was hard, but now things have settled and I feel just as "normal" as before, with a little bit more variance in my emotions (which actually is a good thing). I love being able to get all emotional over things, feel the Spirit again at church meetings, or laugh out loud when I read something funny. All things that I couldn't do before. However, even that was better than just sitting there feeling apathetic and numb and sad and angry all the time. Of course, I have an appointment with my doctor for approximately two weeks post- partum, just in case. A relapse would stink.
Anyway, this is my "be happy without meds even when life is hard and sucks sometimes" plan. I thought I would share it with you. Just a few little tips I have gathered from various sources such as my doctor, magazine articles, priesthood blessings, and personal experience.

Things to do daily:
PRAY- lots. No explanation needed really.

GO OUTSIDE- fresh air and sunshine make all the difference!

EXERCISE- 30 minutes of walking, aerobics, yoga, etc.

TAKE A VITAMIN- because I still don't like lettuce

TALK TO A GROWN UP- everyone needs a break from Elmo and diapers and crying

WRITE- journal, blog, email, whatever

SCRIPTURES- I have been following a new blog that has issued a 5-page-a-day challenge, complete with a reading chart, motivational reminders, and even a give away this week. I found her blog when she posted several ways she is teaching her young children about the Family Proclamation. Really good stuff!

SERVE- my calling, visiting teaching, my kids, whatever.

FINISH- something that has a lasting, tangible result, that I can check off a list or show to someone else because I need to feel like I am doing a little something that won't be undone in a few hours or days.

So there's my plan. What do you think?

Clean Sweep in Baby Steps

Today I made a list of everything I want to do before the baby comes to get the house ready for company and real estate people and such. It was long and overwhelming. However, I know I will feel so much better to no longer be surrounded by all this stuff and have this giant list hanging over my head.
I have decided to break it up into little manageable baby steps and try to conquer one little job at a time. I rotate through the rooms of the house each day doing deep cleaning, hitting each one about once a week, and add in my de-clutter job, and my daily upkeep things and when I am done, I stop. No worrying about the next thing on the list. Going to keep track of my progress here under the label "clean sweep."
Today's job: the medicine cabinet.  Out with everything that was expired or nearly empty. Sadly, there wasn't much left! I couldn't believe how much junk had accumulated up there. It felt good to toss it all out. And thanks to an awesome Christmas present from my friend, I had a box of new everything ready to take its place. One bag of old medicine out, one box of new medicine in, one less box taking up space on my counter, one less thing on my list. And it only took about 30 minutes!
Wonder what I can knock out tomorrow?

Snow Day

Last weekend, we were blessed with this:

A 1/2 inch of snow, topped off with a 1/2 inch of ice. That won't go away.


As a result, we were also blessed with a 4 1/2 day weekend.

And cabin fever.

We could only play in it the first morning before it turned into an ice sheet.


I tried giving them an outlet for their energy with aerobics on tv. Then subduing them with yoga. It ended in a wrestling match over the coveted purple mat. Becca won.

And this is the reason we still have a cat, even though he annoys the heck out of all of us. He is her most attentive audience.



And finally, while waiting at the doctor's office I made these:




Becca stole them. When she couldn't get them on her feet, she put them on her doll's. I am starting a new pair for baby.

And BTW, you may notice that Mike gets a lot of credit for posting in the near future. I ran out of photo storage, but he has plenty and has allowed me to hack into his account regularly to post pictures here. So you can thank him for his posts and contributions to the blog now.

Chocolate Santa

And so it begins

22 days left
220 things to do to feel ready
24 hours in a day
7 days in a week

My calendar from last week:

Pardon the scribbles, Becca was being helpful. The items with a slash through were done, circled and arrowed got bumped to the next day, crossed out got cancelled altogether. Like the playdayte that was swapped for the doctor visit and pharmacy run or my shopping trip that got cancelled by a cranky baby. There was a lot of circle bumps, but I felt ok about it because they did eventually get done. The right column got cut off- but they were titled MOM, KIDS, EAT, TO DO, and TO CLEAN.
And my glorious plan for this week has already gotten all messed up because of an impending snow day or two so everything has been pushed over at least once. I would show, but then I would have to rip it off the calendar. And I wouldn't be able to find it the rest of the week. So it has to stay up.
A little overwhelming? I a little bit. But in addition to all the to-do there are good things thrown in, like a spa date or date with Mike in the Mom section, craft projects in the to-do list, double meals (to freeze for later) or cookies in the eat section, and the freedom to circle an entire day and push it over when I have to fill in the blanks with "take a long nap with Becca on the couch" or "go to lunch with a friend" instead of cleaning the bathroom or washing sheets.
And it makes me feel just a little bit more in control, which is a good thing.
21 days left to feed and rock the baby all night without getting out of bed. 21 days left for Becca to be the baby. 21 days to be a family of five, not six. 21 days to sit in silence after 8PM and read/type/sleep/talk without interruption.
22 days to go, until baby gets to spend time with us on the outside and I get to spend three days in the hospital in bed with my meals being delivered on a tray and a nurse to make my bed and hold the baby while I take a very long shower. Forget the whole pain and monitors and feeding and all that- focusing on the positive here!
25 days until my mom comes to visit, which she hasn't been able to do since we moved here 6 years ago. Hope Georgia isn't too different from Alaska. Lenna wants to make brownies and go to the nature park, and Andrew is excited to leave the cat food out and introduce her to the neighborhood opossum.

The countdown has begun!