Tips on Flying With Children

We have just returned from a trip to visit our relatives in California. Of course this involved a cross-country flight from Atlanta, GA to Reno, NV. I think we are getting pretty good with the flying thing, especially with the things I have learned from this trip. We will definitely be ready for anything next time. I thought I would share my new found knowledge with all of you. So here it goes:

Tips for Flying with Children:

Before you go:

1. think about what kind of flight you want: Non-stop or connecting.

Non stop is great for a shorter overall trip, especially if you have lots of baggage or baby equipment to haul around the airport from plane to plane. It also cuts down on the nauseating take off and landing times which is great for those with motion sickness. It also allows for nice long naps and for settling in. However, if you don't like the people sitting around you or feel a little claustrophobic in a small space, five hours with no break is a long time.

You may want to look for a flight with an hour or so layover if you don't mind a slightly longer traveling day. This cuts the time you have to keep your wiggly child in one place in half, since he will be distracted by the more frequent landing and taking off, the change in planes, seats, and airports. He will get to experience running through the terminal and most likely an escalator ride or two. If the person sharing your row isn't as thrilled about having young children as traveling companions, or there is a grouchy old man in front of you who winces, then turns and glares every time your child moves his feet, the endurance time for everyone is much shorter. However, this increases the chance of losing a suitcase, leaving Barbie behind, and having no time to eat anything but airplane snacks for about 8 hours, which isn't so good for digestion, calorie counters, or cranky kids who hate peanuts and soda.

2. After you have chosen your flight, it is time to do some research. Head to your local library to find the answers to the following questions. Remember, no detail is to small to be left out or repeated at least five times.

Why do we have to stand in line?

Where is that man taking my suitcase?

What can't I follow it down the conveyor belt?

Why can't I take my juice bottle with me?

Why do I have to take off my shoes?

Why does that man have funny socks on?

Why can't I carry my doll/car/blanket/backpack with me through the metal detector?

Why can't I hold your hand as I go through?

Why can't I stop in the middle?

What is that funny beeping sound? Why do I have to go through again?

Why is that man holding a gun?

Why can't I have one?

Why can't I stop in the middle of the aisle and sit down to put on my shoes?

Why can't I run around and get lost or play hide and seek to make things more fun?

How much longer?

What does that sign say?

Can I have a t-shirt/mug/toy/(insert anything overpriced in a shop window here)?

Which plane is ours?

Why can't we get on that one?

What is that man/ woman's job? (this question will be repeated for all employees, from gate agents to flight attendants, to truck drivers, maintenance crew, etc, so be ready with answer for every kind of uniform you see)

Where are we going?

Where is the potty?

What is that part of the plane?

Where are the suitcases going?

Where is mine?

Why are we in line again? Where does this tunnel lead?

Are we on the plane now?

Which seat is mine?

Why can't I sit over there?

How does the seat belt work?

What is an emergency landing?

Are we going to have one?

Will you save me if the plane lands in the water and I am not wearing my floaties?

What is this little white bag for?

Are you going to throw up this time?

Can I put the window shade up/down?

Are we going yet?

Where is my TV?

Can I turn on the light?

What happens when I push the orange button with the lady?

Can I turn off the air? Can I turn it back on?

What is that noise?

Where is the engine?

Does this plane have a propeller?

Do I get to wear a parachute if we run out of gas?

Why are we driving instead of flying?

What are the wing flaps doing?

When is it our turn to go?

Why can't I put my hands up and yell "wheee!" as the plane goes up?

Why can't I kick the seat in front of me?

Why can't I put the tray table up and down a thousand times?

When are we going to get drinks?

Can I get in my suitcase now?

Can I take off my seat belt?

Can you trade me seats?

Does that lady have candy bars or chocolate milk?

Can I go to the bathroom now?

Why is it so small?

What happens when you flush the toilet?

Where does everything go?

Why is the water blue?

How much longer?

Can you sing me to sleep?

Does it count as a nap if I just close my eyes for a minute?

Why are we flying under the clouds?

Why are we flying above the clouds?

Why are we flying through the clouds?

Where are the care bears?

What are clouds made of?

Can I open the window and stick my hand out?

What is that down there?

Why is the plane bumping?

Is the plane bumping up and down because we are flying over the mountains?

Why do I have to wear my seat belt?

Why is the wing moving?

Why do the cars look like ants?

Where is grandma's house?

Are the wheels going to come down in time?

What if they don't?

When are we going to stop?

Why can't I get off yet?

Can I go see the pilot?

Where are we going?

Where are my suitcases?

Can I push the cart?

Can I ride with grandma all the way home? (Answer yes to this one and enjoy the few minutes of quiet!)

Be prepared with satisfactory answers to all of the above questions. You may want to consult a pilot or engineer or good book on the dynamics of airports.

Now you are ready to go! Pack lightly, but be prepared for anything and everything (is this possible?)

On the plane:

Get on early. You are less likely to have to climb over people to get to your seat, will have first access to the blankets (only use the shrink wrapped ones, you never know what the guy before you was breathing on them) and plenty of time to start answering all those questions.

Consider carefully the seating. If you are upset with your husband, make him sit with the youngest. If you aren't yet, make him sit across the aisle alone and you will be resentful enough to be upset with him later. Or just draw straws and hope for the best. Resist the urge to sit with your husband and let your kids fend for themselves on the next row, you will probably regret it later.

Bring out all the toys, especially little ones that drop. This way you will easily get to know all of the people around you right away, since you will have to ask them to retrieve things for you throughout the flight.

Don't forget to charge the batteries for the portable DVD player, along with headphones and a few favorite movies.

Bring a book for yourself. You probably won't get to read it, but it might make a good prop for car ramps or Barbie furniture or something, or maybe a fan when the air is out.

Finally, sit back and enjoy the ride. And pray for that nap!