Note to future self

Some little gems of knowledge I would like to remember, so I am posting them here for future reference.

* If you drop a frozen pie crust when it is still very frozen, it will shatter into a million pieces.

* Do not buy Easter candy (or any holiday candy, for that matter) a month early "to have it done and over with". No matter how well it is hidden, you will not be able to resist the temptation to eat it yourself, and will have to go out and buy more at the last minute.

*Naked toddlers pee on things. No matter how much they struggle and protest, it "is" worth the fight to get that diaper on.

*Say no to the nice man at the YMCA who asks you to help out with your son's soccer team. You will most likely be the only volunteer and be promoted to head coach instead of team mom and snack coordinator.

*There is something hilariously disturbing in listening to 5 and 6 year old boys "talking smack" at each other over the goal line. Especially if they have no idea what they are saying.

*Don't bench your son, he will be "mad at you forever and ever". Don't play your kid more than everyone else so that he won't hate you- all the other parents will think you are playing favorites.

*Remind self that having 8 year old in ballet, soccer, and activity day girls with a 5 year old in soccer isn't so bad and is completely do-able. Unless they are all scheduled on Tuesday night. Then you will be sorry. And hungry. And always out of gas.

*Sunscreen, even if it is 35 outside when you leave in the morning. 4 hours later, you will be pink!

*If you see a pair of Elmo socks in the Target buy 4000 pairs. Because one will always get lost in the wash, and your daughter will wander the halls with one sock on looking fruitlessly for the other one calling "Elmo! Elmo! Elmo!" Until you both have a headache.

*Buy stock in antihistamines and Kleenex. Allergy season has arrived. In February.

*"Yoga-laties" is code word for "your stomach muscles will never forgive you." Don't be fooled by the word "beginner" in the class title. It just means you have to hold each pose longer while the teacher moves each person into position.

*Family-wide Sunday afternoon naps are wonderful and now mandatory for everyone. Even if mom is the only one who sleeps while the others play behind closed doors.

* Someday you will catch up the blog. Until then, take comfort in the fact that your loyal readers are waiting on the edge of their seats with baited breathe, eagerly anticipating your next delivery of witty and intelligent prose. Or, maybe they gave up following months ago and don't care what you write. Either way, it will all be ok in the end.