Time Out for Mercy

Currently, the punishment of choice in our house is time out. There are often other consequences for misbehavior, such as not being allowed to sit anywhere but the floor for a day if you get caught jumping on the couch or having your toys disappear if you do not put them away or sending certain toys to time out if they hurt someone.

Anyway, sometimes Andrew or Lenna just need a few minutes to calm down reflect on their behavior and so a time out order is issued. I like to put them on a tall stool in the middle of the kitchen. They can't scoot around, touch things, or kick the wall. All they can do it sit there and look at the timer.

Recently I had to send Lenna to time out. She very rarely gets in trouble, so when she does it is really devastating to her. When I put her up on that stool she started sobbing as if her little heart was broken and that I had just dished out the worst punishment in the world. I, being the tender mother that I am, just walked away trying not to laugh. Her brother on the other hand, came to her side. She reached out for a hug and he obliged, standing there beside her for the full seven minutes to help her feel better.

The interesting part is that he would rather do just about anything than sit in time out. He protests just as loudly when it is his turn to sit on that stool. But when it was Lenna's turn and he was standing there as her comforter, he had no trouble standing still in the middle of the room for the entire time. But if I had put him there, he would be sitting, kicking, squirming, crying, and doing just about anything he could but holding quietly still.

Andrew is better acquainted with the time out stool than Lenna is. In fact, it is rare that he doesn't go for a visit at least once a day. One time he was there as a result of fighting with and hitting his sister. He dragged his feet all the way there, crying big tears, repeating over and over how sorry he was. He draped himself pathetically over the stool and wailed about the injustice of having to sit in time out while he could be playing. I came back to treat Lenna's injuries and found her crying just as hard as Andrew. I asked where she had been hurt and she said "Mom, I'm not hurt really. But I am so, so sad that Andrew is upset. Can I go to time out for him so he will stop crying? I just can't stand to hear him cry!"

Lenna was the victim of the assault, the one who cries like it's the end of the world when she is put in time out, but when given the chance she would switch places with Andrew to keep him from hurting.

I know that there is a gospel lesson in here some place, but my brain is having trouble putting it into words at the moment. Feel free to offer your own interpretation at will. The best I can do:

Sometimes you can endure for others out of love what you cannot endure for yourself.